To My Future Self…

We make history every day, but this time period in our lives will be one that is taught for many years to come. My great great grandchildren will hear about Covid-19 and how it changed the world. Time passes quickly and before you know it, certain feelings and memories are forgotten. I wanted to take some time to reflect on current times and its affect on us directly.

Sandy and I are some of the fortunate ones that already worked from home. We have not experienced a lay off, reduced hours or anything of the sort. If anything WordPress.com is booming with people trying to move their sites online all over the World. We have been the busiest I have witnessed since starting more than 3 years ago. We are fortunate to be in a position to help our customers create a web presence that for some will allow them to keep their business during this hard time. For others they are doing what I am doing and blogging about the whole experience. Churches have moved services online as well as small groups, worship and more. Some are offering self help lessons on the web whether it is physical activities, education, etc. Either way, I feel thankful that I can help and am fortunate to work for Automattic.

I have learned a lot about myself and my family during this time. Our kids are strong and have made me proud in so many ways. They are keeping in touch with friends, staying on top of their school work, learning and trying new things. Some days the time feels long, but if you have them look back, they will tell you it has flown by!

Without this Covid-19 break in our lives, this would be our busiest time of year. I would literally be bouncing between drama practices that I would be helping with, to dance, home to try to keep on top of chores, cooking, etc. and then back to pick up kids wherever they may be. Noah would be practicing 3 days per week, but would also be in an away tournament, camp, starting Spring Steve Nash basketball, etc. The girls dance season would be in full swing with 4 competitions and did I mention drama? The play would have been in a week, so I would have been rarely home.

Don’t get me wrong, I love all of the kids activities and they love them too. That is why we invest so much in their extra curriculars and dedicate as much time as we can to their activities. There are times when we hit this part of the year though, that I don’t know what I am running on. There is never much in me other than the excitement of it all keeping me going.

I woke up from a dream recently where I dreamt I had run all day from activity to activity, then realized that I had forgotten to feed Ella all day. Thankfully this has never happened and she is old enough that she grabs snacks and can make meals, but I woke up in a panic. And laid in my bed being thankful for the fact that I had no where to go that day. I calmed myself and then took a moment to just appreciate the fact that I was going to have a quiet day with my kids, enjoying every moment with them.

There are always things I have wanted to do for years, like spend some time on our gardens, repaint some areas of the house, etc. I never have the time, because we choose all of these other things. I forgot how good it feels to actually take some time to do things that will also make you happy in a different way.

Recently Caile and I painted our entry way trim, closet doors and some of the bathroom trim on our main floor. I have wanted to do it for years, cringing every time I looked at some of the dull areas and worn down spots for years of use. We made time to do that and now every time I walk in the door it makes me smile. It is so bright, clean and fresh looking. I also refinished the bathroom counter that had made me crazy for years. It didn’t take a ton of time, but has made me smile when I walked in the room many times. It may seem so simple and silly, but these were the things that I stopped making time for and this time showed me that I need a better balance in my life.

What am I thankful for in my own life because of this time?

• Walks every day with my family. We talk more. We have always been a very communicative family, but spending all of this time together grew those relationships even more.
• Yoga! Caile and I haven’t missed a day in the last month. Ella joins us lots of times too. I feel great! I was so worried I wouldn’t survive without my chiropractor. I should have listened to him years ago. It does wonders for my mind and body.
• Noah learned to bike! He always could ride with training wheels, but didn’t really take it any further. We live on a hill that used to be mainly dirt road, so biking was always last priority. Ella learned a few years ago, but didn’t use it until now that Noah has been riding. Sandy, Noah and Ella have been biking lots and they all love it.
• So much baking! One skill I want all of my kids to have when they move out is cooking / baking. I need them to know how to make things from scratch and follow a recipe. It may seem easy to many, but so many people can’t do this. So many new recipes have been made during this time. We are trying new things and Caile especially is loving baking. No recipe is too hard for her!
• The many beautiful trails we have! They were closed for about a month because of Covid-19. We love the trails, but I discovered a new appreciation for the nature that I get to see during these walks. I definitely missed it and realized how much it does for me mentally.
• My amazing Tribe! I miss them so much! I know we will all pick up where we left off, but I miss the amount I was able to see them and just make plans. I will never take plans for granted again!
• Gardening: You can be successful! And the kids enjoy helping! Family gardening time will be in our Spring plans each year. 🙂
• The beach! I can’t think about summer without thinking about the beach. I love it so much. The sand, the smell, the scenery… it is my happy place. We still cannot go back to the beach as they are all closed, but I am looking forward to the day I can. I realized even more so during this, that I cannot be someone who lives very far from the beach. I always have to be able to a drive away.
• Travelling: We are a family that loves to travel. We spend most of our summers exploring new places. It makes my heart sad that this summer will not be like that. But it also makes me look back on all of the amazing memories we have made.

To my future self… Don’t go back to who you were before all of this. Always remember this time and change your life forever because of it. There is a lot of bad, horrible things that have come out of Covid-19 and its affect on our World, but you can take from it the good, the learning and the new memories you have. You are allowed to do that and don’t ever feel guilty for it!

Most of all, take away the appreciation for the things you took for granted in the past. Do better at making plans, seeing more of the people you love and appreciate this amazing world we occupy. Remember prayer is powerful and it really helped you go from the panic mess you started this time with, to the person you are now.

I changed my screensaver on my phone earlier this year and it is a perfect way to end this post… “Be ok with not knowing for sure what might come next, but know that whatever it is… you will be ok.”