During my team’s final hangout of 2021 we talked about New Years Resolutions. One of my team members said that he really likes the generalized “Year of…” themes and explained a bit about why. It had me thinking back to my Year of Yes and the mind set I had that year. I didn’t necessarily have specific goals in mind for the year, but I was going to challenge myself by saying Yes to things in life that in the past I would shy away from. That challenge certainly changed my path and I couldn’t be more grateful for the things that I accomplished / achieved that year.
Covid definitely pushed me two steps back. I take the cautious road more often than not, always thinking of who my actions may affect. I have a responsibility to protect vulnerable family and friends. I have been more concerned and less risk taking. I have backed away from the Jen that lived the Year of Yes. I don’t regret the decisions we made, but it has made me tired at times.
It may be 5 months into the year, but I recently came to a realization that I want this year and all the future years to be the “Years of Joy”.
When I first went on my 6 month leave I had tons of plans in mind. Plans for myself, for Ezra, for our house and our family… lots of mental checklists. Thankfully in one of my last few meetings with my lead, she recommended a book called 4000 weeks. She was reading it at the time and felt like I might enjoy it. I could not be more thankful that I read that book before any others. I am definitely someone who thrives or feels like I’m thriving on productivity and this book made me take a step back and look at things a bit differently.
I’m scheduled, organized and I often choose familiar over the spontaneous even if I know the spontaneous would likely bring me more joy. There is often a lot of comfort to someone like me in getting things done and knowing that I have accomplished a lot in that day. But when you get really good at accomplishing things, that doesn’t mean you get more time to enjoy other things in life, it often means you take on more things and find more things to do because you are efficient. I realized through this book that my ever-growing tasks were stealing my joy and I want to change that.
4000 weeks are the average amount of weeks that people will live. It really doesn’t sound like a lot. The book is an up and down rollercoaster that had me think about my life, past, current behavior and future. I recommend it to everyone, not just those that thrive on productivity.
So what am I changing? Anyone who knows me, knows that disorganization and lack of accomplishments cause chaos in my brain. I want to have more joy, but also keep my stress low as I journey this life. I want to make more last minute decisions, choosing fun and relationship building over checking off tasks. My chores and to do list will always get done but I’m learning that they don’t need to be done at the exact moment that I think they do. There is flexibility there and when I embrace that and allow for joy to enter I have a much more fulfilled life.
I basically tossed my leave to do list to the side and am taking things as they come. I’ve made time for me… I’ve started working out daily and have lost almost 15 lbs and gained lots of strength. I stretch with Noah daily, read more and take more opportunities to just go adventuring even if that wasn’t originally in the days plan.
There are still lots of things that I want to do with the remainder of my leave and I know I’ll accomplish a bunch of them, but there are others that are not so important, so if I don’t get to them I’ll be OK with that. I will enjoy however I spent my time instead.
Some of the amazing people that bring me joy!
I Dream of Summer 
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