19 Years of Loving & Missing You!

After Brianna’s passing I took a short leave from work. I’ll never forget my first few days back. It was awkward… people had no idea what to say to me and more than anything I didn’t want to talk about it. I was certainly in a place where I just wanted to ignore everything that happened.

I was a HR Manager at the time, so I had my own office, but regularly met with our agents. I had a meeting with one of the men that reported to me and at the end of our meeting he stood up to leave, but clearly felt like he had to say something. He apologized to me for everything that I just went through and then said that at least I didn’t know her.

I honestly had no idea what to say. I’d like to think he just couldn’t find the right words and instead muttered one of the worst things you could say to someone who just lost their baby.

I may not have had the opportunity to know Brianna the way I now know my other children, but she still spent 9 months living within me. I spent those 9 months preparing and imagining our lives together and since then have also dreamed and thought much about our lives together in Heaven one day.

Brianna would have been 19 today! And although I haven’t been able to spend these 19 years physically with her, she has always been with me … until we are together again.

She’s certainly had a huge impact on my role as a Mother and the time I spend with our children. Time is so precious and her short time on this Earth taught me much about where my priorities should be, where I personally want them to be.

I’m thankful that I’ve come a long way from where I was 19 years ago. It’s acceptable to feel every emotion when someone you love passes. I definitely felt them all. I’ll always miss her. I appreciate my own growth over these years and what I was able to take from her loss.

Happy Birthday Brianna! I picture your day to be surrounded by lots of family that I know are with you, loving you and watching over all of us. Love you sweet girl! ❤️