It was 1 year ago…

A lot of people know that I live by my fridge calendar. It has probably made Sandy crazy for years, because our house and my life is filled with so much technology. I have a ton of ways electronically of tracking all of our kids activities, birthdays, milestones, etc., but for me I love to have that visual of my next 2 months displayed on my fridge.

This evening I was standing in the kitchen staring at the calendar, thinking about the next few days, but also thinking ahead to our daughter Ella’s 15th birthday. I always start planning at the beginning of February. It was 1 year ago that I was scheming up a surprise party for her to go along with her planned birthday party. Ella loves her birthday like I do and it was so much fun to surprise her, since she is almost impossible to keep anything from. It seems so surreal to me that almost a year has passed and those 2 parties were the last time multiple kids from multiple households were in my house at one time. It was the last indoor party we celebrated, the last time we came close to people without hesitating, the last time we lived carefree…

I feel torn lots of days. I really miss those feelings. I miss having lots of kids in my house, playing games, hanging out and just having fun. I miss all of my tribe being inside at one place at one time. But at the same time I have loved so much about this year. I have forever complained since my kids started school that I have missed out on so much of them. I am a wreck every September when they go back to seeing me less than half of their awake time, so I can’t be anything but grateful that these insane circumstances we are living through right now have given me time I would not normally have. I have always known that the kids were academically strong. I am beyond proud that their home learning is successful due to their determination, organization and desire to achieve. In addition to their academic learning at home, they have learned much about life and home skills that will make them more successful when they are on their own one day. They have stronger bonds with us, each other, Ezra and our family (including our tribe).

I am so thankful that Nova Scotia has done so well. And I appreciate that so many kids could go to school this year and learn the way they wanted to. I don’t regret for a moment keeping our kids home. Our priority is keeping our family, especially my parents safe and we made the best decision for us. It has made our group smaller, but we have made some incredible memories with this group of people.

In a few years, this will feel like ancient history… well at least I hope, but in the meantime I am not going to take for granted a single moment over these next 7 months. In September I will go back to being my usual wreck as the kids return to school and although they have much appreciation now for the time we have together, it will be interesting to get their perspective in the future… all of our perspective. I hope these times force us to always make more family time even when our lives go back to the busy chaos they used to be. I hope we will never forget all the lessons this year has taught us and I hope we hold on to the positive changes this year has brought!